Last Updated 2/5/99 I've fallen to new heights! Why aren't there any vulgar pronouns in this language? Instead of touch football, what about torch football? It'd be quite the motivational game. Good grammar be a lifelong pursuit. So Horatio took a can of baked beans and a can of roofing baked beans in his quiver, and he set out to put things right in the world. --Book of Jamal 5:30 Are really fancy racquetball courts lit by big crystal chandeliers? And, if so, do they buy them in bulk? How come nobody ever paints things fluorescent beige? This site is always under: construction, repair, water, grape jello, ground, and a large hermit crab named Ted. You have been warned.

In Case of Emergency... Follow these simple steps. New Damnitol Poster I've brought Damnitol up to the current state of my artistic skills/weapons. There's even a lovely, hi-res PDF for you to download and loathe. Catapults And how they can improve our lives Grinch Music Grab an MP3 of The Grinch Song, and then sing along with the lyrics! More poster-size stupidities Of the sort I've been adding to the Stupidity page as of late I'd kinda like to take a picture of the door to my room. It's covered with all sorts of fun stuff I've printed up. Perhaps I'll schlup it into a huge image map and put up a Grinch's Virtual Dorm Door Tour. Whee! Has anyone seen the scoundrel who stole my signs? Grinchware Here stands the collection of wacky Mac software recently named as a National Treasure by President Nahoomicrafoomy Yetzt of the West Bohemian Republic, all available for immediate download and abuse. Stupidity Experience some of my general stupidity, consisting almost wholly of things you will not get. Nevertheless, I enjoy writing this stuff, so if anyone enjoys reading it, drop me a line. Sounds Check out some way-cool sounds of my own making, as well as some decent sound links. Features a recording of my Advanced Placement History teacher's voice back when she was a Borg! Pictures Everybody loves a grinch! Scope out some of these fine self-portraits. They are hand-redrawn from a pretty bad scan I did off the videocassette jacket. Now they look almost presentable. This is also home to an ever-growing collection of other Dr. Seuss pics as well as some works of my own. Linkles Links, you numbskull! Number of dissatisfied surfers: Get my PGP public key And, just in case you somehow missed all the rest of the links on this page... Grinch Central | Grinchware | Stupidity | Sounds | Pictures | Linkles Send a case of cherry-flavored coat hangers to grinch@psu.edu